BMW’s cheeky goodbye to a rival; Pornhub’s new ‘high-tech’ shorts; and Sephora moves to diversity

by Chris Powell

BMW cheekily salutes outgoing Mercedes-Benz president

Lovely work here from BMW, which gives a heartfelt salute to recently retired Mercedes-Benz CEO Dieter Zetsche, albeit with a cheeky twist.

BMW recruited a Zetsche lookalike for the video, which purports to show the CEO on his last day with the company—being applauded by employees and posing for pictures while making his way through the Mercedes headquarters. After being dropped off at home in his Mercedes S-Class sedan, the spot shows Zetsche standing alone in front of his house. The next shot shows the garage door opening, accompanied by a super reading “free at last.”

The spot, which has racked up more than 3.2 million views on YouTube, concludes with Zetsche speeding away in a BMW i8 Roadster, accompanied by the message: “Thank you, Dieter Zetsche, for so many years of inspiring competition.”

Pornhub introduces erection-stifling shorts

When the Beach Boys sang about Woodies on songs like “Surfin’ Safari,” they were referencing a type of wood-sided car long associated with surf culture. But Pornhub has introduced a new surf song about “woodies” that has absolutely everything to do with what you’d expect.

Screen Shot 2019-05-27 at 10.12.55 PM

The world’s biggest online pornography site (it had 33.5 billion visits last year, with Canada accounting for the fifth most traffic) recently unveiled a new video and website promoting what it calls the “Bonerless Bathing Suit” designed to help young guys overcome the embarrassment of becoming unexpectedly aroused during a day at the beach.

The shorts, which feature “patented bonerless technology”—comprised of material that will “stretch but won’t strangle”—are being sold for $69.69 (natch) at the dedicated site Bonerless.com.

Pornhub is supporting the product launch with a nearly three-minute video developed by Spanish agency Officer & Gentleman. It features a song called “Beach Boner Blues,” an uptempo Beach Boys homage with decidedly risqué lyrics (“Try to stay in cold water all day long/There’s no way to get out with that dong/Focus on that old man in his thong/If it doesn’t work you’ll have to cut it off”). You can hear the song on Spotify or buy it for $1 on Bandcamp if you’re so inclined. If the YouTube comments are any indication, consumers see real value in the shorts: “I’LL TAKE YOUR ENTIRE STOCK” writes one person.

Sephora closing stores for inclusivity workshops

Sephora is launching a new branding campaign about diversity while dealing with a high-profile story about racial profiling. The cosmetics chain last week introduced what seems to be a brand platform built around the tagline “We belong to something beautiful.” Sephora also said it will close all of its stores in the U.S. on June to “host inclusion workshops for our employees.”

“Any time a brand makes a declaration of this nature, it invites critique whenever it does not live up to its own standards,” said Sephora CMO Deborah Yeh. “But rather than say nothing at all, we embrace this as a challenge for our entire organization. That’s the ‘never stop’ part of our commitment.”

The announcement comes shortly after singer SZA suggested in a late April tweet that she was racially profiled in a California Sephora while shopping for Fenty Beauty products, Rihanna’s makeup line. That story got new life this weekend when Rihanna reportedly sent SZA a Fenty gift card.

Chris Powell